i really want to be less antagonistic towards people online but it's sooo hard. seeing males plant their dumb little dickflags all over lesbianism and then call ME a homophobe when i call it out makes my stomach churn, literally. i have to take deep breaths. but of course i have to be like "never ever ^_^" and do the dumb cute antagonistic smileys because if you show a nanometer of of hurt or pain, they will find some way to exacerbate that pain a hundredfold. they swarm like piranhas.
anyway i just told a transbian to go examine their prostate and i feel kinda bad about it. i mean not really, but kinda. i don't feel bad for the asshole, i feel bad for the actually cool TW that follow me, idk i don't want to make things any worse for them when they are actually nice people and call out all the same bullshit that i do. i know female socialization is playing a big part in that, but, still, i don't want to be mean. i don't want to make anyone feel bad that doesn't deserve it. of course if they do deserve it, i become razortongue without even thinking! :(
oh! i suppose this is the best place to talk about this. i'm a little sad because i just found out that a woman i spent some time with (awkward winking here) years ago, and was one of the two MAJOR human forces in me awakening to homosexuality, is now a transman.
she was kind of the first person... the first woman i was really... with. when i knew her, she identified as lesbian, and was quite butch. the thing that stood out about our very very brief time together was ... gosh, it's hard to even think about. but she's the only person i was ever able to look directly into her eyes for long periods of time. we would look into each others eyes, and just stare, and smile, and slowly build up energy between us that would explode in a kiss.
i've pretty much already given up on ever experiencing anything like that again
i feel so lonely. usually i deal with it okay but sometimes it just hits harder than normal. my therapist said that once this is all over (the covid thing, hopefully it does end eventually, but i'm not holding my breath) that people will be trying more and more to connect to each other, especially to make up for lost time
one idea i had been playing with for the past few years is some sort of adult... fun... club. NOT "adult fun" but normal fun stuff just with other adults. museum trips, cookouts... i also really just want to... sing. with other people. not to be good at it, not to sell anything, but because it's something humans do! and birds! because it's fun! and good!
i think the biggest downside to being out of school (there are very few downsides lol) is the lack of socialization. i KNOW that so many other adults feel the same way, it's so damn hard to make friends once you're out of school.
i have so many ideas for so many things but pretty much no one to bounce those ideas around with. i feel like i'm a guide to so many people (and i fully believe that is my true calling, in some form, i really do love being a guide and sharing knowledge) but sometimes i just wish i had someone to help guide me.
parents are out of the question lol. the relationship between my father and i is extremely carefully curated and maintained because we have opposing political views and we each believe the other's opinions are fully formed by propaganda. and i just want to have a dad sometimes. and my mom is incapable of holding space for any of my emotions, because she can't even hold space for her own. i don't blame her or hate her or anything, she just didn't learn certain skills, so wasn't able to pass them on to me.
wow this was a rant!
Irem Yazici: Embroidery in miniature
Irem Yazici was born in Istanbul Turkey. She studied public relations and advertising at Anadolu University.
Irem says: I didn’t like my department and I didn’t want to work in an agency. I feared when I graduated, I would be sucked into a lifestyle that I did not want. So I stopped going to classes and delayed my graduation. With dropping the classes, I had so much free time. Then I suddenly took an interest in embroidery. I spontaneously bought some fabric and threads. That was the best decision I made in my life….
In this interview, Irem reveals how she transfers images from her imagination into her delightful miniature hoop landscapes and explains exactly why embroidery is so precious to her.
four thousand character limit?! wow!
anyway, i'm very pleased to be here and i hope i continue to use this site for a long time. i've always wanted female-only spaces to just... do normal things. to be myself without worrying that some smegmoid is going to think i'm performing and trying to be interesting to him.
i'm a big fan of the idea of "create your own culture", and always wanted a safe group to do exactly that with!!
so.... who likes to craft?? :) i love sewing, drawing, painting, making simple accessories... lately i've been making cardboard and papier mache masks, and it's so much fun!!!
Cliterati.club is a female-only public forum created by lesbians for lesbians. Centering lesbians of color, lesbian detransitioners, and butch lesbians. we feature a custom 4K character limit, themes, emojis, and an anti-racist, anti-homophobic code of conduct. Lesbian-only.